1 down, 3 more to go......

Mentally exhausted, Grateful for everyone's concern.
Especially my parents.....

NUS is a place that make (force) me to grow up!!

HATE IT....

Physic here i come.

Feeling like crying......

Mugging week coming to an end, I hAVE not completed study finish one single module.
So upset for my math...everything.... spent 2 days trying to understand what the hell does double integral and surface integral are all about? Did the tutorials, but for the past exam papers i totally at lost. Blabbershit.... IN my entire life I never felt so helpless before. Monday havig my math paper, helpsheet unprepared, i still left 5 more chapters to clear.... sianzzz

My instinct told me I am going to die for sure........
Hopefully I manage to obtain pass!!!

Just check with NTU website, my course over there also require me to deal with programming techique. Haiz guess no where I ran to, but to stay where I am and try and see how it goes.

Life is pathetic, I really what the shit I am in. JUst Hang on in there.......F#$%

I am feeling kinda of upset again, crazy thoughts of escaping from the harsh reality had been flowing inside my mind. The inner side of me calling me to give up has been louder than ever it had been.

Programming practical exam is on wednesday, which i have not really study for it. I wonder How i am going to pass this sucky module programming. Seeking for other alternatives to escape from this harsh reality, sometime i wonder if i have not chosen this route, life will be more enriching. I maybe will feel much better.

Did I mention every moment i spent in that school, I do not have a sense of belonging. I was putting an expressionless mask on my face, facing everyone in school. I totally do not enjoy it, sometime when i was in doubt, noone to turn to. Joining cindi and M.F was my greatest joy during nano lec, was the moment i most at ease.

If everything can turn back the time, i will not have choosen this place. I rather choosen some route specially designed for poly students. Perhaps that particular place will have allow me to be real me instead of putting a mask on everyday.

Holiday i shall check this out, waste a year so what? Here what i am doing now,is definetly not the things i looking for my 3 years ( lonely and panic over whether i can make it.)

If i over there, i at least know people whom i can mug with. I am really remorseful now. ( I dun know whether is it a correct choice. so shall decide when dec come. Bombarding my frenzs abt that.)

As people getting older, they usually escape from failure. They also seem to protect/ kept to themselves more, thus making new friends is difficult. ----- I am older but more unsensible...... GOD make me more grow up...

I have a new cousin, Cheers!!!!

Can't wait to see her!!

Happy, guess the coming CNY will be very happening!!

Mom said she got the same nose as me..... in other words flat nose ... why she has to do with my damn flat nose... FUNNY!!!

Sidenote: I am feeling old,hahha... I used to be the only granddaughter of my mother's side till HuiJoo came along, and now is Her!! Hahah!!

So now is 3 granddaughters, and 5 grandsons in the CHIA's Family.... Yahoo!!

Cannot wait for holidays to come, so that I can join the guys in their mahjong/PS games or act as little kid to join my little cousins' kiddy games ( Hide and seek)...OMG but fun!!

Almost Done with Nano

Today is the date due for the crazy nano paper...due time is 5pm. My group mates are making a mad rush to the submit our paper and the burnt cd-rom. Hopefully both of them are able to make it on time. FInger crossed!!!!

Well next on my list, are my nano test and programming practical exam which are coming in the following week. Followed by that a week of exam break (revision) then the follow by exams week.....(nightmares!!)

Nano test and programming practical exam i think both are equally hard. Both midterm tests i just managed to pass. Double efforts have to put in both to pull up my grades, hopefully can get pass for all modules.

As days passed, I have been trained to take things easy. For example for today's lessons, I wish to say.... I totally dun understand, neither i am building sandcastle nor i am talking. The reason is something too chim for me, more readings required.... I am a slow pacer learner. Haiz too bad for me... Have to slowly catch up if the time is ticking slower than its seems to be.

Today someone asked me, whether am i considering to change my course or withdraw from NUS..something like that. I was pretty surprised when she asked me this question, therefore I asked her what make her think that. She mentioned that most of the poly ppls in my course are having second thoughts, this applied to her as well. Mind you she is from JC, in my opinion she should able to do much better than us... SHe also found alot of things she dun realli understand especially the crazy physic and programming.... haiz.. everyone is having second thoughts. FAcing this kind of second thoughts question, i kinda immuned to it.

Now i just remained focus for this month, all this crazy works shall end..


Perhaps This is my last post for my rumbling about my studies. Hopefully when the next semester opens, I will be more positive in my studies and thinkings.

Work hard for the pass .... how pathetic can it be...

Next post shall be the fun I have during my dec holis....starting from 4 dec....
Ya... Shopping, singing, clubbing , travelling, laughing, playing, chatting .... and many more.... dun forget exercising.... i put on weight le .... return my golden weight!!!

I never went for my math tutorial today, well reason is simply I have not finish my tutorial. So Tml shall join the chem eng's ppl one.

Now listening to matchbox twenty " HAnd Me" ..... Nice." All the troubles down"

Jus now had lunch with the chem girls ( L.s, H.T, Eu). SO nice of them to stay back to have lunch with me. Gleeming!!! They sounded quite sadden with all their endless reports. I can guess neither one of us are happy over here. Sense of tiredness on our faces.... and mentally strained... JIA YOU!!!

Well, 6 dec shall be our date. REALLI LOoking deperately forward to it.

Back to my math tutorial .... !!

Angry for several reasons:

1) Lost as usual
2) Nano paper I am tired with it.... Drag and slow not solving the problem!!
3) Competition issued from a person who u think u are relied on...WTH? I think that person is crazy..... Now I aimed to put in my best effort... Somehow next time I will not be working as an engineer either, perhaps I can be a fashion designer...(project runway) Hahah....
4) Lousy Time Management.... Sorry to my buddy!!
5) Body malfunctioning..... Excessive eating.... Heck care about my wellbeing...
6) Basically I hate myself for putting myself in such a shit.

Happy For several reasons:
1) Do U all know my aunts and uncle are very tech savy!! Haha...we communicate through MSN, SMS and phone calls! So advance!! Luckily they are there to share my woes and encourage me to move on. Love u all!! Muack!! Can't wait to see my littles dearie kuzzies. I really missed them !!!
2) Positive Thoughts.....
3) Someone planning activites to keep me occupy during my dec holiday...YAyaya....(Will I be riding a plane this holis???) hahah!!!

ANticipating for the worst yet looking forward for the JOYS after the nightmares!!!