I am feeling kinda of upset again, crazy thoughts of escaping from the harsh reality had been flowing inside my mind. The inner side of me calling me to give up has been louder than ever it had been.

Programming practical exam is on wednesday, which i have not really study for it. I wonder How i am going to pass this sucky module programming. Seeking for other alternatives to escape from this harsh reality, sometime i wonder if i have not chosen this route, life will be more enriching. I maybe will feel much better.

Did I mention every moment i spent in that school, I do not have a sense of belonging. I was putting an expressionless mask on my face, facing everyone in school. I totally do not enjoy it, sometime when i was in doubt, noone to turn to. Joining cindi and M.F was my greatest joy during nano lec, was the moment i most at ease.

If everything can turn back the time, i will not have choosen this place. I rather choosen some route specially designed for poly students. Perhaps that particular place will have allow me to be real me instead of putting a mask on everyday.

Holiday i shall check this out, waste a year so what? Here what i am doing now,is definetly not the things i looking for my 3 years ( lonely and panic over whether i can make it.)

If i over there, i at least know people whom i can mug with. I am really remorseful now. ( I dun know whether is it a correct choice. so shall decide when dec come. Bombarding my frenzs abt that.)

As people getting older, they usually escape from failure. They also seem to protect/ kept to themselves more, thus making new friends is difficult. ----- I am older but more unsensible...... GOD make me more grow up...