Say gdbye to the Highland, loch ness....
SLing
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Friday, November 25, 2005
Taller....i think so
FAtter or taller..
I think i having both..
I prefer taller.....Hopefully my height will increased to 165cm. Although i was only a few cm away.... but i still prefer to have a height of 165cm.
why? I am growing taller....maybe i also not that sure. Hehe
As for fatter.... I am. IS confirm under the approval of my name.
I had been overeating especially cookies...and muffins
MUst control.............
if not i will be fat.........
I think i having both..
I prefer taller.....Hopefully my height will increased to 165cm. Although i was only a few cm away.... but i still prefer to have a height of 165cm.
why? I am growing taller....maybe i also not that sure. Hehe
As for fatter.... I am. IS confirm under the approval of my name.
I had been overeating especially cookies...and muffins
MUst control.............
if not i will be fat.........
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
A very Bad day
Today is a very bad day..........
Slept at 2am...OMg...busy with that fliming thingy...was dragged by Delwyn to go Tesco to do the fliming over there. As usual brought a couple of stuffs, mostly are reduced food products. I am a cheapo, everything in my basket was mostly reduced food stuffs.
And We brought a box of Stella Artois.....for 9 pounds. 20 bottles when are we going to finish that? I was like crazy...somemore that is one Ports inside my fridge and one scottish whiskey in their room. Looking forward to movie nights.... lets drink our hearts out... Hehe.
www.ImageShack.us" />
Came back from Tesco....I brought that black shitty videocam to my place to do my interview. My turn to flirt in front of that cam... having no idea wad to say... crapped several shits here and there. Wow...was already very late like 12.30am....wah lau..then compiled all the photos and burned in a CD. Went to sleep....zzzz.
Been woke up by my alarm clock.... abit reluctant to go to work... Crawled out of the cozy bed, washed up and ate breakfast... Went to the workplace, found out i never brought my wallet. I was shut out of the building....bloody hell... freaking cold made my way home to get my wallet.
Finally, reached the lab.... sat there and stoned. I simply refused to take off my coat and put on my lab coat. Stoned for 5mins...... then moved my heavy body to dissolve the vanadium solution... Oh boy...i cannot dissolve the solution into a clear solution. How to carry out my experiment.... Shit! I was so frustrated...
Fine...seeked help..they said another method of dissolving....
No use... i finally give up...
Since my boss is not around today, therefore the brain behind my project is dead. I knocked off at work around 2pm. So early.... got some free sandwiches.... went around the leazes place...
Maybe due to my moody feeling..... i entered a deli counter and ordered a potato wedges....costed me 89pences... so much. I was stunned... no very nice because i never add any salt to it. Waste of my $$, somemore i felt very sinned eating that. I managed to finish half of it, and threw away. Went home and vomit..... i felt so sick. And ate some grumies and chessy haddock and purple cabbage after that vomit.
Tommorrow going for chinese buffet....i think friday i need to excerise.....to burn my fats.
Slept at 2am...OMg...busy with that fliming thingy...was dragged by Delwyn to go Tesco to do the fliming over there. As usual brought a couple of stuffs, mostly are reduced food products. I am a cheapo, everything in my basket was mostly reduced food stuffs.
And We brought a box of Stella Artois.....for 9 pounds. 20 bottles when are we going to finish that? I was like crazy...somemore that is one Ports inside my fridge and one scottish whiskey in their room. Looking forward to movie nights.... lets drink our hearts out... Hehe.
www.ImageShack.us" />Came back from Tesco....I brought that black shitty videocam to my place to do my interview. My turn to flirt in front of that cam... having no idea wad to say... crapped several shits here and there. Wow...was already very late like 12.30am....wah lau..then compiled all the photos and burned in a CD. Went to sleep....zzzz.
Been woke up by my alarm clock.... abit reluctant to go to work... Crawled out of the cozy bed, washed up and ate breakfast... Went to the workplace, found out i never brought my wallet. I was shut out of the building....bloody hell... freaking cold made my way home to get my wallet.
Finally, reached the lab.... sat there and stoned. I simply refused to take off my coat and put on my lab coat. Stoned for 5mins...... then moved my heavy body to dissolve the vanadium solution... Oh boy...i cannot dissolve the solution into a clear solution. How to carry out my experiment.... Shit! I was so frustrated...
Fine...seeked help..they said another method of dissolving....
No use... i finally give up...
Since my boss is not around today, therefore the brain behind my project is dead. I knocked off at work around 2pm. So early.... got some free sandwiches.... went around the leazes place...
Maybe due to my moody feeling..... i entered a deli counter and ordered a potato wedges....costed me 89pences... so much. I was stunned... no very nice because i never add any salt to it. Waste of my $$, somemore i felt very sinned eating that. I managed to finish half of it, and threw away. Went home and vomit..... i felt so sick. And ate some grumies and chessy haddock and purple cabbage after that vomit.
Tommorrow going for chinese buffet....i think friday i need to excerise.....to burn my fats.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
My 100th post!!
I was browsing through my past posts. Oh Gosh... This is my 100th post.
I having been blogging for so Long......without knowing.
Blogging has its advantages and dis...
Blogging has allow me to know more about my blogging friends( especially my cousins)
Blogging allows me to reflect on my life.
Lets the past filled me once again.....
Be it gd or bad memories....
Looking forward toward the future...
Pray that the future will be bright and nice and easy.
Going to the next phrase of my life...
Abit scary to get old...
But that is life....
A life cycle.....
Soon i will be a mother of my child....
Then i will be a grandma..waiting my turn to return to the starting place.
Or i will be a single woman for 3 decades
then Ah ma, living alone in an old folk home....
WHich life i will be having..... I wonder....
What fate i will be having.......
I dunno...
I having been blogging for so Long......without knowing.
Blogging has its advantages and dis...
Blogging has allow me to know more about my blogging friends( especially my cousins)
Blogging allows me to reflect on my life.
Lets the past filled me once again.....
Be it gd or bad memories....
Looking forward toward the future...
Pray that the future will be bright and nice and easy.
Going to the next phrase of my life...
Abit scary to get old...
But that is life....
A life cycle.....
Soon i will be a mother of my child....
Then i will be a grandma..waiting my turn to return to the starting place.
Or i will be a single woman for 3 decades
then Ah ma, living alone in an old folk home....
WHich life i will be having..... I wonder....
What fate i will be having.......
I dunno...
Friday, November 11, 2005
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE Kit
Please note that the shirts do come complete with Champions League Winners patches and are exclusive to the club and therefore can only be purchased from Liverpool Football Club.
This one is expensive..... £65 and never come with a gift box.
Adult European Shirt
1. PRODUCT DETAILS
Unfortunately, availability of the European Shirt has been hindered by unprecedented demand and supply chain issues. We are currently working to find a solution to this problem and are hopeful that we may be able to make further stocks of the shirt available for sale next week. Further information will be published on www.liverpoolfc.tv as it becomes available. 100% PolyesterColour: Red Please note that due to the design of the shirt, European Champions cannot be printed. It is not possible to personalise the shirts with your own name, only squad names and numbers can be printed. Customised/personalised items cannot be exchanged or refunded. Squad numbers correct at time of publishing: LFC holds no responsibility for subsequent changes to squad numbers.
Product code:
EHS1
Price:
£39.99
Haiz.... so troublesome. I thinking of ordering online but still need to pay for delivery fee which is £5. Wenjie U are a $$$ Sucker.......
So i think i getting u the Adult european shirt.... size Small. Or u wan the Champion League Kit...i forking out the £40 rest then u pay the remanding wan? Which is £25 = S$ 76.
Small
Chest ......34"-36"
Waist........32"
Can or not?
I called them up.... cannot reserved over the phone. So troublesome.......
Please note that the shirts do come complete with Champions League Winners patches and are exclusive to the club and therefore can only be purchased from Liverpool Football Club.
This one is expensive..... £65 and never come with a gift box.
Adult European Shirt
1. PRODUCT DETAILS
Unfortunately, availability of the European Shirt has been hindered by unprecedented demand and supply chain issues. We are currently working to find a solution to this problem and are hopeful that we may be able to make further stocks of the shirt available for sale next week. Further information will be published on www.liverpoolfc.tv as it becomes available. 100% PolyesterColour: Red Please note that due to the design of the shirt, European Champions cannot be printed. It is not possible to personalise the shirts with your own name, only squad names and numbers can be printed. Customised/personalised items cannot be exchanged or refunded. Squad numbers correct at time of publishing: LFC holds no responsibility for subsequent changes to squad numbers.
Product code:
EHS1
Price:
£39.99
Haiz.... so troublesome. I thinking of ordering online but still need to pay for delivery fee which is £5. Wenjie U are a $$$ Sucker.......
So i think i getting u the Adult european shirt.... size Small. Or u wan the Champion League Kit...i forking out the £40 rest then u pay the remanding wan? Which is £25 = S$ 76.
Small
Chest ......34"-36"
Waist........32"
Can or not?
I called them up.... cannot reserved over the phone. So troublesome.......
What A Day?
Yesterday chatted with D & O till 1am, Very Tired. Somehow Time flies when we spent time together chatting. Had a couple of laughters last night.... Oh Gosh... I have not gotten a good laugh since I left Singapore. Kinda miss my brother..... You are a nice brother who keep me accompanied at home. Whenever you are not at home, i always anticipated for your return. Are u ? Hehe........ Hope U are doing well in your O level. Sorry for unable to being with you during the terrible time... I am really a selfish sister. Better do well huh.... i will be praying for you. I will buy u something cool.... dun worry. Unlike wenjie so demanding............. haha.
Mos (only): PLs tag ur shirt's size..... if dun know which size u are suitable in, PLs refer to Liverpool FC online shop....... I think they have the sizes stated at there. Cheers.
Today abit cheerful... Lunch was on someone..... went to chat with some new friends. They are Italians, quite a nice group. Next time must hang out with them..... so can know more Italian's slang. Haha......
Tomorrow is the dreadful friday meeting, hopefully it should be okay and pray hard no more bombardments. Anyway just received an email from my supervisor, he said: "Well Done, Shu!" So elated :) Tomorrow must thank my mentor, for all his advises on my results and report. Praying hard........ with my hand clutching the left corner of my shirt near to my heart like ( Halu in Pride ) haha..... Luv " Pride " to core>>> Currently watching the sixth episode.
Mos (only): PLs tag ur shirt's size..... if dun know which size u are suitable in, PLs refer to Liverpool FC online shop....... I think they have the sizes stated at there. Cheers.
Today abit cheerful... Lunch was on someone..... went to chat with some new friends. They are Italians, quite a nice group. Next time must hang out with them..... so can know more Italian's slang. Haha......
Tomorrow is the dreadful friday meeting, hopefully it should be okay and pray hard no more bombardments. Anyway just received an email from my supervisor, he said: "Well Done, Shu!" So elated :) Tomorrow must thank my mentor, for all his advises on my results and report. Praying hard........ with my hand clutching the left corner of my shirt near to my heart like ( Halu in Pride ) haha..... Luv " Pride " to core>>> Currently watching the sixth episode.
Received a couple of emails. Had various thoughts on them respectively. Here are :
- U again... Ur name seem so disgusting. Hatred filled my mind after reading your email. Do u think u are abit overboard? We are not pro... do not be so demanding. Dateline coming...left 10 days. We have not started. Because we think is difficult and stupid, simply is a chore doing all this.
- " I miss people I never miss b4" I Love this phase. Very meaningful...... spinned alot of thoughts in me ( start miss ppl in spore). U and me shared the same fate, U in Shanghai while i in Newcastle. Although we are on the different side of the earth, somehow we penned the same thoughts. I somehow luckier than u, at least i have the 2 guys to keep me occupied. Feel free to drop me an email, Hang on and bear with it. Looking forward to be back and lets go makan to Bukit Timah Food Center ( Miss the food and the accompany and ur interesting story of wooing girls). Haha MIss Ya , Cheers ;)
- Speechless, No comment. I thought u are different.........quite disappointed.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Boring Weekend!!
Saturday: Woke up late.... So nice.
Nice sun therefore went to Leaze park and ran. Nice weather running without any sweat, coming out. After a short run, went to city center to get some apples. As the stadium having soccer match, city center was packed with Black and white referees. Haha soccer freaks.... roaming noisy on the streets celebrating!!! Went to Elton's square to shop, Miss Selfrige having BUY one get one free. SAw a knit mini skirt, intend to buy but must find another clothing so to get one free. HAiz ended up walking out of that shop emptyhanded. Same for TOPSHOP, so angry saw an earring but did not manage to find another one in order to enjoy the offers. I was pissed, went home and complaint to D & O. They told me should asked them so that they could shop for their special friend as well. Next time la guys.
3pm reached home. Ate some crackers, watched "Pride" without any sound. Reading subtitles...."-_____-".
5pm went to school, and meet my colleagues to go to one of my boss house for dinner. The dinner was Chinese meal consists of 3 dishes ( eggplant, tofu & chicken wings) and one mutton soup( so oily). Long time never got to eat Tofu... kinda miss Tofu. Played PS2 with his son, the smart kid whom I think he has no life. Learned so much stuffs at such a young age... 3 yrs old learn German. He had an eye toy, like a camera which able to capture your image into the TV and used as a controller. Very fun...although is KId's game. Went home... got a big bag of bananas... Now my fridge is full of bananas.... can feed monkeys.
Reached home 11pm.... talked to D & O. Gave them the bananas....haha got the info that we were going to Oxford tml. Must wake up at 7am.... sianzzzzzz sitting train again. Then went to my room, turn on COM... search internet how to store bananas. Hahah freeze the bananas....Nice it will not turn bad. Can ate with oats!!
Sunday: WOKE UP AND GET READY TO catch the rail.
Dashed all the way to the central station.... end up the train delayed. We are early...... therefore waited in the cold. Finally the train came, it was Virgin train. Not bad!! Sat the train to Oxford....In between passed by YORK, Leeds, Birmingham, etc. The train journey was 5 Hrs. Finally, reached OXFORD with the hurting ass. We spent only 2 hours in Oxford, haha never see much.... We dashed frantically finding for Sainsbury's. Brought reduced food, the sky went dark. We decided to go home because i need to work. On the way home, the train was so packed. We did not manage to find any seats, hence we sat somewhere near the toilet, like toilet keepers. Haha chatted with Delwyn throughout the whole journey, get to know slightly better. Haha!! Hopefully, after spending the 5 long months together, we 3 of us will meet up often like what you have promised to.
Nice sun therefore went to Leaze park and ran. Nice weather running without any sweat, coming out. After a short run, went to city center to get some apples. As the stadium having soccer match, city center was packed with Black and white referees. Haha soccer freaks.... roaming noisy on the streets celebrating!!! Went to Elton's square to shop, Miss Selfrige having BUY one get one free. SAw a knit mini skirt, intend to buy but must find another clothing so to get one free. HAiz ended up walking out of that shop emptyhanded. Same for TOPSHOP, so angry saw an earring but did not manage to find another one in order to enjoy the offers. I was pissed, went home and complaint to D & O. They told me should asked them so that they could shop for their special friend as well. Next time la guys.
3pm reached home. Ate some crackers, watched "Pride" without any sound. Reading subtitles...."-_____-".
5pm went to school, and meet my colleagues to go to one of my boss house for dinner. The dinner was Chinese meal consists of 3 dishes ( eggplant, tofu & chicken wings) and one mutton soup( so oily). Long time never got to eat Tofu... kinda miss Tofu. Played PS2 with his son, the smart kid whom I think he has no life. Learned so much stuffs at such a young age... 3 yrs old learn German. He had an eye toy, like a camera which able to capture your image into the TV and used as a controller. Very fun...although is KId's game. Went home... got a big bag of bananas... Now my fridge is full of bananas.... can feed monkeys.
Reached home 11pm.... talked to D & O. Gave them the bananas....haha got the info that we were going to Oxford tml. Must wake up at 7am.... sianzzzzzz sitting train again. Then went to my room, turn on COM... search internet how to store bananas. Hahah freeze the bananas....Nice it will not turn bad. Can ate with oats!!
Sunday: WOKE UP AND GET READY TO catch the rail.
Dashed all the way to the central station.... end up the train delayed. We are early...... therefore waited in the cold. Finally the train came, it was Virgin train. Not bad!! Sat the train to Oxford....In between passed by YORK, Leeds, Birmingham, etc. The train journey was 5 Hrs. Finally, reached OXFORD with the hurting ass. We spent only 2 hours in Oxford, haha never see much.... We dashed frantically finding for Sainsbury's. Brought reduced food, the sky went dark. We decided to go home because i need to work. On the way home, the train was so packed. We did not manage to find any seats, hence we sat somewhere near the toilet, like toilet keepers. Haha chatted with Delwyn throughout the whole journey, get to know slightly better. Haha!! Hopefully, after spending the 5 long months together, we 3 of us will meet up often like what you have promised to.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Have u put urself in my shoes?
Angry and depressed
Am i useless? I sounded so.. I am learning.... After all that is not my field...
It is totally new to me.... Did u ever think of my thoughts?
I admit i was wrong to certain degree...... I should have imposed some thoughts after everythings i did. But did u remind me? Just simply gave me some instructions and expected me to do everything without any guidance. Important details have stated there.... yet still raise stupid questions about it. Treat my report like shit huh, then please do not ask me to send u the results at the end of the week.
You said u hardly seen me smile... Because i do not know how to smile in front of you. Really do not how to smile.....i felt so little. Like an ant crawling on ur mightly palm, can be die in any moment.
SUddenly i felt so weak.. i thought myself as a strong person. I was totally wrong.... i need someone to relie on. Learning to take things into my pride and stride, be a totally different person.
Working hard... desperately!!
People at first thought i was here to have a holiday. Enjoy myself all those stuffs.... after the all bombardments i had, people felt guilty........ totally treat me differently. Taught me stuffs patiently... Very grateful but i ended up being beaten up actually was ur wrongdoing. Due to ur wrong perception of my aim here...caused me to be carry a face without smile to see him.
The less educated peoples sensed my unhappiness... although they are cleaners. They are kind, warm people. They will come to me, and said " Pin, smile.... do not frown!". Sometime i wish i am a cleaner living in no stress working life.
Am i useless? I sounded so.. I am learning.... After all that is not my field...
It is totally new to me.... Did u ever think of my thoughts?
I admit i was wrong to certain degree...... I should have imposed some thoughts after everythings i did. But did u remind me? Just simply gave me some instructions and expected me to do everything without any guidance. Important details have stated there.... yet still raise stupid questions about it. Treat my report like shit huh, then please do not ask me to send u the results at the end of the week.
You said u hardly seen me smile... Because i do not know how to smile in front of you. Really do not how to smile.....i felt so little. Like an ant crawling on ur mightly palm, can be die in any moment.
SUddenly i felt so weak.. i thought myself as a strong person. I was totally wrong.... i need someone to relie on. Learning to take things into my pride and stride, be a totally different person.
Working hard... desperately!!
People at first thought i was here to have a holiday. Enjoy myself all those stuffs.... after the all bombardments i had, people felt guilty........ totally treat me differently. Taught me stuffs patiently... Very grateful but i ended up being beaten up actually was ur wrongdoing. Due to ur wrong perception of my aim here...caused me to be carry a face without smile to see him.
The less educated peoples sensed my unhappiness... although they are cleaners. They are kind, warm people. They will come to me, and said " Pin, smile.... do not frown!". Sometime i wish i am a cleaner living in no stress working life.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
a story of tree leaf and wind
Tree
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure,doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason,made her accompany me for 3 years.She watch me chase after gals,and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heartache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out.After going outfor a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on mychest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says...
"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon.Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend.Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is,he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone orwith her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away. It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree. I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.
"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Author Unknown
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure,doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason,made her accompany me for 3 years.She watch me chase after gals,and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so. My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heartache is as bad as hers. When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out.After going outfor a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on mychest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says...
"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon.Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend.Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is,he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone orwith her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away. It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree. I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.
"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Author Unknown
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
ANother test
Get to know yourself better
Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
