1 down, 3 more to go......

Mentally exhausted, Grateful for everyone's concern.
Especially my parents.....

NUS is a place that make (force) me to grow up!!

HATE IT....

Physic here i come.

Feeling like crying......

Mugging week coming to an end, I hAVE not completed study finish one single module.
So upset for my math...everything.... spent 2 days trying to understand what the hell does double integral and surface integral are all about? Did the tutorials, but for the past exam papers i totally at lost. Blabbershit.... IN my entire life I never felt so helpless before. Monday havig my math paper, helpsheet unprepared, i still left 5 more chapters to clear.... sianzzz

My instinct told me I am going to die for sure........
Hopefully I manage to obtain pass!!!

Just check with NTU website, my course over there also require me to deal with programming techique. Haiz guess no where I ran to, but to stay where I am and try and see how it goes.

Life is pathetic, I really what the shit I am in. JUst Hang on in there.......F#$%

I am feeling kinda of upset again, crazy thoughts of escaping from the harsh reality had been flowing inside my mind. The inner side of me calling me to give up has been louder than ever it had been.

Programming practical exam is on wednesday, which i have not really study for it. I wonder How i am going to pass this sucky module programming. Seeking for other alternatives to escape from this harsh reality, sometime i wonder if i have not chosen this route, life will be more enriching. I maybe will feel much better.

Did I mention every moment i spent in that school, I do not have a sense of belonging. I was putting an expressionless mask on my face, facing everyone in school. I totally do not enjoy it, sometime when i was in doubt, noone to turn to. Joining cindi and M.F was my greatest joy during nano lec, was the moment i most at ease.

If everything can turn back the time, i will not have choosen this place. I rather choosen some route specially designed for poly students. Perhaps that particular place will have allow me to be real me instead of putting a mask on everyday.

Holiday i shall check this out, waste a year so what? Here what i am doing now,is definetly not the things i looking for my 3 years ( lonely and panic over whether i can make it.)

If i over there, i at least know people whom i can mug with. I am really remorseful now. ( I dun know whether is it a correct choice. so shall decide when dec come. Bombarding my frenzs abt that.)

As people getting older, they usually escape from failure. They also seem to protect/ kept to themselves more, thus making new friends is difficult. ----- I am older but more unsensible...... GOD make me more grow up...

I have a new cousin, Cheers!!!!

Can't wait to see her!!

Happy, guess the coming CNY will be very happening!!

Mom said she got the same nose as me..... in other words flat nose ... why she has to do with my damn flat nose... FUNNY!!!

Sidenote: I am feeling old,hahha... I used to be the only granddaughter of my mother's side till HuiJoo came along, and now is Her!! Hahah!!

So now is 3 granddaughters, and 5 grandsons in the CHIA's Family.... Yahoo!!

Cannot wait for holidays to come, so that I can join the guys in their mahjong/PS games or act as little kid to join my little cousins' kiddy games ( Hide and seek)...OMG but fun!!

Almost Done with Nano

Today is the date due for the crazy nano paper...due time is 5pm. My group mates are making a mad rush to the submit our paper and the burnt cd-rom. Hopefully both of them are able to make it on time. FInger crossed!!!!

Well next on my list, are my nano test and programming practical exam which are coming in the following week. Followed by that a week of exam break (revision) then the follow by exams week.....(nightmares!!)

Nano test and programming practical exam i think both are equally hard. Both midterm tests i just managed to pass. Double efforts have to put in both to pull up my grades, hopefully can get pass for all modules.

As days passed, I have been trained to take things easy. For example for today's lessons, I wish to say.... I totally dun understand, neither i am building sandcastle nor i am talking. The reason is something too chim for me, more readings required.... I am a slow pacer learner. Haiz too bad for me... Have to slowly catch up if the time is ticking slower than its seems to be.

Today someone asked me, whether am i considering to change my course or withdraw from NUS..something like that. I was pretty surprised when she asked me this question, therefore I asked her what make her think that. She mentioned that most of the poly ppls in my course are having second thoughts, this applied to her as well. Mind you she is from JC, in my opinion she should able to do much better than us... SHe also found alot of things she dun realli understand especially the crazy physic and programming.... haiz.. everyone is having second thoughts. FAcing this kind of second thoughts question, i kinda immuned to it.

Now i just remained focus for this month, all this crazy works shall end..


Perhaps This is my last post for my rumbling about my studies. Hopefully when the next semester opens, I will be more positive in my studies and thinkings.

Work hard for the pass .... how pathetic can it be...

Next post shall be the fun I have during my dec holis....starting from 4 dec....
Ya... Shopping, singing, clubbing , travelling, laughing, playing, chatting .... and many more.... dun forget exercising.... i put on weight le .... return my golden weight!!!

I never went for my math tutorial today, well reason is simply I have not finish my tutorial. So Tml shall join the chem eng's ppl one.

Now listening to matchbox twenty " HAnd Me" ..... Nice." All the troubles down"

Jus now had lunch with the chem girls ( L.s, H.T, Eu). SO nice of them to stay back to have lunch with me. Gleeming!!! They sounded quite sadden with all their endless reports. I can guess neither one of us are happy over here. Sense of tiredness on our faces.... and mentally strained... JIA YOU!!!

Well, 6 dec shall be our date. REALLI LOoking deperately forward to it.

Back to my math tutorial .... !!

Angry for several reasons:

1) Lost as usual
2) Nano paper I am tired with it.... Drag and slow not solving the problem!!
3) Competition issued from a person who u think u are relied on...WTH? I think that person is crazy..... Now I aimed to put in my best effort... Somehow next time I will not be working as an engineer either, perhaps I can be a fashion designer...(project runway) Hahah....
4) Lousy Time Management.... Sorry to my buddy!!
5) Body malfunctioning..... Excessive eating.... Heck care about my wellbeing...
6) Basically I hate myself for putting myself in such a shit.

Happy For several reasons:
1) Do U all know my aunts and uncle are very tech savy!! Haha...we communicate through MSN, SMS and phone calls! So advance!! Luckily they are there to share my woes and encourage me to move on. Love u all!! Muack!! Can't wait to see my littles dearie kuzzies. I really missed them !!!
2) Positive Thoughts.....
3) Someone planning activites to keep me occupy during my dec holiday...YAyaya....(Will I be riding a plane this holis???) hahah!!!

ANticipating for the worst yet looking forward for the JOYS after the nightmares!!!

IS mostly likely.... I going to learn independent!! Going to be like xia be a loner in sch.

Well 3 more weeks of school!!

Haiz...exams coming
how to revise all?.....while ppls kept piling work on you?
HAiz zz z zzz


PS: Someone find joy in hardship, well let me be the one. HopefullY....
got the direction of my life!! YEAH!!

Gotten new mobile number, Hey hey miss me can call me!! Hahha I am siao...
Ya is true, i will be very bored in school.

Tml in CL with lesey, and MAy fang...... zzzzzzz...loner in the world of shitsss....

Dec I looking forward to it with eagerness.

Hey sec friends( PING PING, TIFF TIFF and KANG KANG),

TCW coming back on the 7 dec, yeah!!
Seeing stars and moon, along the bench, sipping down cocktails ......with great accompany and talks.... ideal !!!
Or
Under the blazing sun, playing volleyball?

Or midnight mahjong ?


mahjong perks me up.
Terrence said his place is forever OPEN for mahjong man!! Hahah...so funny...

To a friend,

"Running away is not the ideal solution to solve the problem."

Perhaps you will not read my blog, I just wish that you do consider your decision carefully perhaps with a second thoughts. You should have try or strive before thinking of......well. You are not the only one, Who is not struggling in that place?

Well I am not asking u to stay behind for my own selfish reason, with/without u, perhaps at first I might not used to it. At most, alone also steady one mah.....I also been through this stage.

Whatever decision you make, I respect it.
I understand, if given a choice or capability =$$$$$$ I will have stay in UK to complete my degree in a course I love.

Well I can only said I live in a world of reality. Harsh Reality indeed. Kudo to your courage and belief.

To another friend:

" I promised I Definitely be there!! No matter how hard it will be, I will ace through. I will be there to encourage you, the same way you did to me. See ya in that place 2 years from now."

PS: TO those who is wondering anything wrong with me..... I am VERY FINE...NO worries... Let me straighten up.... Yeah!!

NANO Term paper...8000 words... I will beat U man!! I will...i know.

Long weekend ahead.....
Going out on sun i suppose....

Well today is friday... Math tutorial i dunno how to do for the double tutorial. JUz finish my nano tutorial.....

Have to do programming tutorial.... tml

now i shall do my nano project...... sick man....

shld i delete this blog.....pretty addictive to blog reading....

i think i should .....

i shld terminate my internet subscription....
so many temptation... youtube.....wadlau leh............
how how........

rubbish post................

i am crazy

Read this :

There are 283 days till my next birthday starting from today. My 21st birthday...which falls on a sunday!
Radiating how am I going to celebrate?...Random Thoughts anyway.

Oh Yah...
The description of my Birth tree is pretty associated well with my character.

Your birth tree is

Cypress, the Faithfulness

Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy,content,optimistic, needs enough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied (hmmm....this i no clue about it), faithful, quick-tempered (TRUE),unruly, pedantic and careless.

DO u all agree? HAhha I am cypress tree....

Tired....
Lost in the world of notes....
Someone please shine the light to lead me out.

I need to clear away some of my stuffs.
Not now... i am tired
ZZZZ

I hate MArketing.....
I hate Projects....
I am stuck in the assignment which need to be handed up on Wed....TML :<<<
Waste my time thinking ....wad to crap....GOD KNOWS PAPer clip got product lifecycle meh?

WAH THE HELLL........

HAiz...i guess my entire week is to be spend on projects!!

MOoddy

Slacking weekend

My long weekends were spent on nothing but playing.
I completed GOong on Youtube....OMG ....the SHIN is very shuai and the princess is very pretty and cute. I want to be like her loh.
Love Goong so much.....someone send me the songs

Sunday went to lesey's birthday celebration...at essential brews followed by Halo bar. FUN !! Nice food, accompany and everything. Took alot of pictures... but i looked horrible ..cos i never slept well the day before...slept at 2am...watching goong mah...

Boring!!

Marketing assignment.... Argh!!

Another week coming to an end, another indication that my projects' due dates are drawing nearer to me. My nano term paper still left untouched. :( Monday I need to piang on it.

Well, I flunk one of my tests (physic paper I failed)while the rest were i just hit the pass margin. I am very disheartened, especially I had put pretty much efforts in my physic, what I get in return (failure). Perhaps my study method is wrong, something need to be change. It is really irritating, fingers crossed I can pass all my modules this sem. Really!!

Another disheartening blog entry, when am I going to blog a happy entry regard to study matter? I am radiating!!!

Sad sad sad miserable.....
...
..
.
well life still move on..................
That is how my life works...

Finally, I cleared all my horrible midterm tests. Haiz, hopefully I can passed man.

After the horrible physic paper (like buying TOTO like that) which ended at 9pm...sucky timing. I was totally drained, dragged myself to bukit panjang mac to meet up with my buddies. Well my effort never gone to the drain, we shared our thoughts and worries together. They really gave me the energy to move me on.

Though everyone is facing difficulties in one way and another, I believe we will improve. Be it as academic or NS matter or even silly relationship problem hahah, i believe we shall able to handle them well. Viola, chatted until 1.30 am, had to take cab home...but is worth for those good times.

Today went out for project meeting,i was stoning there bascially. Really dunno what to contribute in the discussion,i was such a lousy groupmate. After meet up with my parent and bro, went about in bugis and chinatown.

It had been a long time since I went to chinatown, although chinatown is somesort of oldie place more suitable for those old folks. However for me, I do enjoyed going there, brought back old memories and let me feel connected to my roots.

Plus point: I ate ice-kachang and almond paste at the same time interval, YAyaya!!. I am so glutton. Hahahah....who cares....
And Mum brought me a short, so happy.......

Well, I am braver now. I shall not break down so easily, i hope so.
Like my uncle said, take things easy, look at the bright side.

I hope i shall not cry over study matters again.
Return the bubbly side of me, i dun wish to be frowning all the times, worrying about school work.....

Ciao everyone.

Did something which i cannot forgive myself, I was so stupid. Yeah I know I was......
Mistook an hour paper as 2 hour, can u imagine how painful i was feeling.

I think if i was still the old me back in poly, i will be cursing and swearing like crazy. Now I am somehow of immune to failure, biggest hurdle in front i shall jump as high as i can.

Jia YOu!!! Cheer me on for my physic and programming .......
Coming weekend... I shall chill out.
SUnday holland V....